AG: The Painful Truth About Deadlines
Albert Einstein is the father of relativity. It is he who said time is relative to the observer. “A few minutes spent with a pretty girl,” he explained, “goes by much faster than a few minutes sitting on a hot stove.” Logic like that is difficult to argue.
Writer’s experience “time dilation” when immersed in the shadow of a charging deadline. For some reason the hours and days pass far more quickly in the last few weeks before a book is due. If you visit this site often, then you might have noticed that I haven’t been posting as frequently as usual. You guessed it, I have a book due soon, and I’ll admit I’m displaying signs of deadlineitis. Here’s how to know if you’re on deadline:
- You open your calendar program five times a day and count the remaining days to the deadline.
At least once a day, you divide the number of pages needed by the number of days left to the circled date on your calendar.
- TUMS has become one of the basic food groups.
- Television is no longer a source of entertainment but a reservoir for possible solution to your plot problems.
- You visit monster.com to see how difficult it is to post your resume.
- You envy magazine writers who only have to produce 2,000 words (less than what you have to write today).
- When you wake up you say, “Good Lord, it’s morning,” instead of “Good morning, Lord.”
- The cat looks infinitely more kickable with each passing day.
- You wonder if your editor will believe that you’ve been stricken with Ebola.
- Your great outdoor adventure is picking up the mail.
- When you go outside, you ask your spouse, “What’s that big burning sphere in the sky?” She tells you it is the sun.
- You step from your office or writing corner and your spouse introduces you to the kids.
Now, where’s that cat . . .
Alton Gansky has really never kicked a cat in his life (we hope). Check out his books at www.altongansky.com.