JSB: Slaying the Monster

I’m reading a book on humility right now, so it’s safe to say I know more about the subject than any of you.

Which brings up the issue of pride.

How do Christian artists take "pride" in what we do, strive to do it well, feel good about results…yet keep pride from leading us to overestimation, envy or some other form of writers’ mental illness?
Anne Lamott, in her book on writing, Bird by Bird, has a hilarious chapter on jealousy. "If you continue to write," she observes, "you are probably going to have to deal with [jealousy] because some wonderful, dazzling successes are going to happen for some of the most awful, angry, undeserving writers you know—people who are, in other words, not you."

This is even (perhaps especially) true when it’s a friend whose "turn it is." Says Lamott: "It can wreak just the tiniest bit of havoc with your self-esteem to find that you are hoping for small bad things to happen to this friend—for, say, her head to blow up."

"Humility," wrote novelist Evelyn Waugh, "is not a virtue propitious to the artist. It is often pride, emulation, avarice, malice—all the odious qualities—which drive a man to compete, elaborate, refine, destroy, renew his work until he has made something that gratifies his pride and envy and greed. And in doing so he enriches the world more than the generous and good, though he may lose his own soul in the process. That is the paradox of artistic achievement."

Is that, then, the only way? To achieve in art, we must lose a little of our soul?

Here is where the Christian artist should claim the greatest victory. For if the promise of God means anything, it is that we are no longer slaves to the old nature. Yes, it still exerts itself in the cellar of our hearts, but we do not have to give it dominion. We have been set free.

So when you feel the monster of pride rooting around, don’t be a victim. Try this instead:
First, recognize that such feelings exist because we are fallen. Just slapping the label "Christian" next to our name doesn’t mean a thing. We are in just as great a need as anyone for salvation from self. The good news of the Gospel is that we have been shown the way.

Then, repent. Have you harbored any ill will toward another writer who has "made it"? Or is further along the road than you are? Give that up immediately. It will do you no earthly good.
Finally, pray it through. Have you ever "prayed the Scripture"? It’s a venerable spiritual discipline. I use Kenneth Boa’s book "Handbook to Prayer" to do it (he has the Scriptures laid out in prayer format). But you can do it easily straight from the Bible.

For example, here is Colossians 1:9-12--

For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying
for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all
spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live
a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in
every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all
power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and
patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to
share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.

You can pray it this way:

Lord, fill me with the knowledge of your will through all spiritual wisdom and
understanding, so that I may walk worthy and please you in every way, bearing
fruit in every good work, and growing in the knowledge of you; strengthened with
all power according to your glorious might, so that I may have great endurance
and patience with joy.

Start in the Psalms, and use this spiritual discipline as if your writing life depended on it. It just may.

And by the way, the book I am reading really is called Humility. It’s by the great Scottish preacher of the late 1800’s, Andrew Murray. Bethany House has republished this little gem. It’s a wonderful meditation that will help you keep the green-eyed monster, even if he still snorts on occasion, from eating up your soul.

Then guess what? Writing becomes what it always should be – a joy.

There is nothing James Scott Bell enjoys more than writing. His latest novel is Presumed Guilty (Zondervan). Visit his website at http://www.jamesscottbell.com.
"The Suspense Never Rests"