Monday, February 06, 2006

BC: Tangled in the Eyes of an M&M

I am a diehard fan of the mixed metaphor.

There’s something so fresh, so invigorating about blending two wildly disparate bits of description. Oh, the visions that arise. The provocative new understandings of our world.

“You’ve buttered your bread; now lie in it!” (Jiminy Cricket.)

Sometimes such phrases slip from one’s mouth unintentionally, craftily created by the subconscious. (You’ve got to wonder about the subconscious. Methinks they’re sleeping giants ready to explode.) One of my faves blurted from a friend of mine during a discussion of a decision she faced. “But that would be putting the cart before the egg.”

How profound. Can you envision the scene? The little red cart, the bridle lines, the dragged egg, now worn and cracked? 'Tis the ultimate picture of poor planning.

Then there’s this one: “I’m going to stick my neck out on a limb.”


And others:

“If that were true, why are such sanguine voices shrugging it off?”

“This job is a real albatross around my neck.”

“Yeah, yeah, but an open mind can be a double-edged sword.”

“That’s a lot of baggage for a sitting duck.”

Other times M&Ms slip into writing—and unfortunately, past the editor’s eye.

In the chasm between them, his belated apology made not a single dent.

The bonfire of his desire could not quench the fear in her heart.

In the sea of life, there are many crossroads.

Hey, even Shakespeare managed an M&M: take arms against a sea of troubles.

When I need some serious procrastination, I’ve been known to make up a few M&Ms of my own. In fact, such pursuits can entertain me for hours. (Somewhere along the way the budding wires of my emotional development must have knitted when they should have purled.)

The tracks of her empathetic tears cemented their friendship.

That politician is too lame-duck to take this hot-button bull by the horns.

Her cheeks blossomed with color, erasing the fire in her eyes.

He’ll take you down a rosy path, then turn it on its head!

That white elephant in the family living room is the ball and chain of his existence.

The stain of his guilt sank talons into his soul.

The sputtering engine of his wild choices hung him on the wrong side of the fence.

A diamond in the rough can’t afford to spit into the wind.

Okay, enough already. I’d better cut this off or I’ll be at it all day. The call of my wip gestures for my attention. And the weight of my responsibilities smoke-signal me back to work.

Oh, no. Too late, I’m feelin’ the pull. This is not good. Not good at all. A caravan of M&Ms now sails through my head, lifting me to greater nonsensical heights. I ride the wind of their Siren song, drift their ocean of tempting word morsels. Their magnetizing power pulls the rug out from under me. I am awash in their blazing hypnotism, captive to the tide of their fiery darts, crushed beneath the heat of their—

No, no! Fingers of panic scream at me to stop!

Somebody. Please. Help.

~ Brandilyn Collins, Seatbelt Suspense™
Don't forget to b r e a t h e . . .™


At 10:23 PM, Blogger Angela said...

I'd love to help you, Brandilyn, but the other day I told someone I was "green behind the ears."

Ick! :-)


At 3:23 AM, Blogger Camy Tang said...

LOL! It's hardwired in your think-tank.

When I first read your title, I thought--Ooooh, chocolate!


At 8:29 AM, Blogger Patricia Hickman said...

Just keep a stiff upper brow, Brandilyn. It'll all come out in the drier.

At 10:50 AM, Blogger Unknown said...

Thanks for the laugh. A mixed metaphor is almost as funny as a good pun and much easier to achieve.

At 11:34 AM, Blogger lisa said...

LOL! But alas, I must put my ear to the grindstone and get to work.

At 11:54 AM, Blogger Domino said...

How fun! M&Ms cause a giggle in my mouth and not in my hands.

At 9:58 PM, Blogger Bonnie S. Calhoun said...

Good job, Brandilyn...a bird in the hand is worth making hay while the sun shines!

At 8:59 PM, Blogger Dineen A. Miller said...

You are too funny! Thanks for the laugh.


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